Ocean, Sand, Palm Trees, Rum and GREAT Friends

I’m pleased to annouce that courtesy of my brother John (bought it) and my mother (got it embroidered) that “The Adventures of the ‘M’ Hat” are continuing!

It is now 7am, its 82 degrees, and 87% humiditiy making it feel like 91, so yeah, its warm down here!

Now physics buffs (or fans of Big Bang Theory) if we propose time is a string and bunch it up, find that crossing point where now hits yesterday morning, we’ll start the story there.

6am alarm, 6:15am text from mom “are you awake”, 6;30am call from mom “are you awake”… the answer to all of those, much to all of your suprise I’m sure, is a resounding YES. You see mom and dad we so so so kind to come all the way down to Ann Arbor to pick me up and drop me off for my flight at DTW.

All is smooth. PRO TIP for DTW, if you have TSA pre-Check and sign up and provide the info necessary for digital ID, you get an even FASTER jump through the queue waiing for the TSA checkpoint. So needless to say, backpack strapped on (36lbs and my small daypack in hand) I literally walked directly up the TSA agent, showed them my ID and got into a medium-long line for the secrity scanner.

Well, I should never second guess Steve when it comes to odds is what I can say in advance. Yes, I my backpack crammed with lithium ion batteries, a bluetooth speaker, a camera, two strobes, a video flood light and my scuba regulator did the trick again and earned me a trip to the “special peoples” table for a further colonoscopy.

However, this time they were quite gentle on me. Even while muttering a “My GOD” under her breath while she was trying to pull the top layer of gear out of my bag, she only bomb resdidue swabbed my bluetooth speaker, and jammed her hand into my bag deep to what I can only assume was my scuba regulator (without pulling it out) and I was done and over with that proceedure in less than 5 minutes. So those who took the bet I would get “special” treatment. Put one up on the tote board. However, because the agent was actually kind enough to not tear my entire bag apart and only take out my mask, strobes and bluetooth speaker, it literally took me under 3 minutes to repack so that’s a loss to all on that front. What would you call that Spank.. a push?

Well, I may not have mentioned it in the trip intro, but I am partially traveling this trip with the Tenkel family; Scott (Jhonny), Vicki, Brendan and Cameron. Now they said they would be at the airport curb at 8am and I arrived at the airport at 8:30am. So i’m figuring that they’d beat me to the gate. Even with the extra body cavity search at the TSA checkpoint, I arrive at gate A54 and no Tenkels. Well, I cannot say I was actually surprised as, well.. sorry Jhonny… he’s often a little slow out the door. But soon enough, the start trickling in. First Mrs. Vick, Vicki Tenkle (inside joke.. ask me someday, you probably wont find it funny but Jhonnny and I pee our pants over it!), then Jhonnny (looking haggard, he’s my friend for a reason folks, not much of a morning guy either), then Brendan (who stopped by the “Freedom Center” for US military for a free cup of coffee, as he’s now in the Air Force. But where is Cameron. Well smart kid (and yes I’m going to put a dig on Sparty here, his soon to be alma mater) decided to renew his Nexus Card (gives you TSA precheck) the night before the flight thinking it would work its way through the system in time. Now I have to say, who here thinks the Gov would EVER work that fast, but on the other hand, who here HASN’T heard me try more rediculous things in my travels.

Regardles, I grab a breakfast sandwich to eat on the plane, hop on in Comfort+ (first in line for 1st upgrade but no dice). Have a couple of cocktails (screwdrivers), watch a movie and some Hogans Heros, then bango, we’re in San Juan, Luis Muonz Internaional Airport. The place is quite the zoo, I was surprised, but other than one small snafu at the exit doors, everything goes smoothly. We get our rental cars and depart for our respective lodging. They are stying two days longer on the big island than I am and are staying at a condo just down the street from me. I am staying and the Ultra Lux St. Regis Bahia Resort and Spa (more to come).

Two routes to the hotel seem available, one goes along the ocean, the other inland. Inland has tolls, ocean has traffic and about 20 more extra minutes of travel. So channel my inner Joe, and of course go with no-tolls along the ocean. Am I glad I did. It was a fascinating strip of food shacks on the beach, places to just pull off the road directly into the sea grapes at the edge of the beach. And let me tell you folks, these Puerto Ricans seem to be my kind of people becuase it sure appeared that the ENTIRE island was at the beach that day. SO cool! Here’s a little clip of the trip… shhhh don’t tell anyone how I got the video while I ws the only one in the car.

Then I finally arrive at the St. Regis, turn in to an IMPOSING set of gates blocking my entereance. After letting them know my name and that I was checking in, I believe they were doing an extended credit check, looking up the results of my unmentionable agencies polygraph test and running my fingerprints as it took about 4 minutes for them to decide to let me in. But once in, wow.. the size of hte resort was impressive (I didn’t know they had a golf course here); and the landscaping was just gorgeous. Here’s another little video that we don’t know how it was gotten.

Finally, I arrive, and the entry portal and a host of attendants descend on my vehicle. You see, as I may have mentioned in past blogs, I am a lifetime Titanium Eliete member with Marriott. So when I show up, the red carpet gets rolled out. It is the closest I will ever be to a VIP and on the few occasions I get to take advantage I do my best to enjoy the hell out of it. Before I know whats happening, they have my backpack and daypack out of the trunk, my keys in thier hands and I’m sitting at reception chatting with Bridghett who couldn’t have made me feel more special if she tried harder.

Alas my room wasn’t quite ready, so they grabbed me a wel;come rum cocktail, and I headed off to the beach to chill under teh umbrella with my drink, listen to the ocean and gernally just start to wind down.

So it turns out the “sipping rum” I asked the bar tender for i”Ron del Baralito” (Ron’s little barrel) s the oldest brand on the island dating back to 1870. And oh my goodness is it magnificent. Of course later in the evening, the bartender at the main bar at reception, tried to sell me the highest level of this which goes forr $800USD a bottle… ummm.. no thank you!

finally my room is ready. And WOW!! I was upgraded to the highest level, ocean view, King Suite they have available. It even comes with butler service. Yes, you read that right… BUTLER service. I pick up the phone, “hello Mr. iester, this is yourr butler Juan, how can I make your day better”.. its freaking crazy!

But let the room speak for itself:

So after this, I’m a bit tired, so I stretch out on the big king bed, try to take a nap u treally can’t seem to fall asleep, probably becuase I’m so hungery So I pick up the phone and ask the butler to bring me a chicket sandwich with BBQ sauce.. no problem they say. I explicityly make suree they check to see if they have BBQ. Yes Sir. Well reality when the sandwich comes… no sir, I’m sorry, we’re all out of BBQ sauce. So now I have a $25 chicken sandwich wtih cheese and avocado, not bad but I’m a little peaved as I would have just ordered a burger forr a simple eats if I’d known they didn’t have the BBQ.

So shortly after this the Jhonny family showed up for some cocktails. The bartender made me the coolest smoking rum old fashioned.. going to have to figure this one out at hone:

Then we hang out together just enjoying the glorious night, another couple cocktails, and a swim in the pool in a downpour. At this point I and Cameron were getting hungry but finiding something on Google Maps that said it was open was a challenge. But eventually we found Don Q Papitos aout 12 mintues ago. (FYI, DonQ is kind of the local bottom shelf rum here). So we pile into the Jhony mobile, get to the resturant. The fod was magnificent, I had the Aroc con Charisco (rice with Skirt Steak) and a cup of gumbo. The only downside wsa tha tthe prces were pretty hefty. But we rolled with it and then back to the hotel where I had every intetion of writing this blog last night. But by the timem I walked into the AC sset at 65 from the 83 degree 83% humidity at midnight, I was just wiped out and opted to write this morning.

Next on my agenda:

• Post this blog
• Go for a swim in the ocean
• Go to mass down the street
• chill at the hotel
• drive to the airporr and fly to Culebra

I’ll leave the rest of the details for later. Suffice it to say, today should be a ruch full day!